ivy and orchid

I remember my last Christmas with my family before I got married and moved out of state. Actually, I should say I remember the gifts from that Christmas. I remember the gifts just as clearly as when I received a keyboard with a built in DJ kit when I was 7, but I digress. What did I receive? I got a Selah CD with songs from their time living in Africa as missionaries. I got a small silver bell so that every time I heard its ring, I would remember my family. I got a cool paisley shirt, a Hebrew-Greek study Bible and a silver necklace with a charm that read Dare to be Different. Gifts are not my love language, but looking back, these gifts played a crucial part of my life that would bring me to where I am now. Looking back, I know that my parents were giving me tools to follow Jesus on my own as they released me into adulthood.  Much of the symbolism from these gifts still follow me today, but not as much as the Dare to be Different necklace. Growing up, I always knew that God set me...

Out of my kitchen window in Haiti was the most amazing view of the mountains. I was never able to capture their beauty from my camera, but this is a shot from our neighbor's back yard. Every morning, I would wake up and quote Psalm 121:   I lift up my eyes to the hills-- where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. One observation I made right away in Haiti was the noise. Every morning around 4:00 am, the yard workers came to sweep the giant fallen palms out of our yards. This was actually before the hens began crowing. There were goats and pigs and peacocks. These are sounds I grew accustomed to and miss. However, the black birds there sound like screaming children and they "screamed" every dawn and dusk. There was the sound of our generator. Sometimes after midnight, we would hear the loud music far off in the mountains of a celebration or a voodoo ceremony. Sometimes, we would hear people down the mountain closer to town. So...

I consider myself a pretty simple person who doesn't need many things in life. However, one thing I have a difficult time without is my sound machine. I cannot stand all of the sounds of "silence" like my circulatory system pounding away in my ears. So, my ideal setting is white noise--constant sound without interruptions. Fun fact, white noise is an accumulation of all pitches similar to the way the shade of white is an accumulation of all the colors. I bring this up because I have recently had conversations about life being black and white. For example, there are only two outcomes in a situation or people are either good or bad. However, in my life, I have seen God use his body, and even people from my past, in my current situations. When my limited mind could think of probabilities or outcomes, God always does something that I could never imagine. God uses people and situations all together for good. He combines this beautiful body of believers to fulfill his purpose. ...

It's been a while since I've written here. When I heard we were moving to a creative access country, I was unsure of what I can say here or even if I could keep what I've written before. What I have realized is that I need to process all of the thoughts swirling in my head right now. As I have been preparing to go to a country that is predominantly Muslim, I am preparing myself for the differences I expect. I am preparing to see many more women wearing hijab. I am preparing to hear the call to prayer multiple times a day. I am preparing to censor what I say and how I act. I am preparing to face oppression and warfare because of my beliefs. What I haven't been preparing for was that I would face the oppression and warfare here and now right before I leave my country. The last couple of weeks have made me realize something: Because of COVID, the only people I have interacted with have been believers and they have been some amazing, Love-the-Lord-with-all-your-heart, sacri...

I am always awestruck when thinking about how much God loves us to send Jesus to save us from ourselves. While the ways we love each other can seem trivial in comparison, it is a great feeling to be the proverbial "hands and feet" of Jesus. Sometimes it is apparently obvious how we can love others, lending a hand when asked or offering assistance when we see someone in need. While other times being thoughtful about how we do and present things. This is the wonderful opportunity that technology classes in particular offers. It is a blessing to be able to walk alongside the students in Indonesia and help them think through not only how technology can be used, but more importantly, how we can use it to truly show our love for each other. What a great reminder of how small things like the format we choose to send a file in is an opportunity to show our love for one another. It also presents me with a reminder to be very intentional in everything I do. While this can seem daunting...

My life is really great. I have never starved. I have always had a roof over my head. I have a loving family. I have a supportive community. The few times I have gone through difficult periods in my life, I have gotten through all of them. Well, I didn't do it on my own; it was God who has gotten me this far and has provided more than I ever could imagine. It is the reminders of how God has gotten me this far that keeps me going. It is His promises that encourage me to keep believing-- to keep dreaming--about tomorrow. I know we are quarantined in our homes. I know most countries' borders are closed. I know the economy is rough right now. But I keep dreaming anyway. It was at the Global Leadership Summit (GLS) in 2016 that I realized we were destined for Global Missions. So last week, when I was beginning to think I should be more of a realist rather than a dreamer, I watched a video from that GLS of Jossy Chacko speaking and in it he said, " don't let the earth...

In the midst of being in quarantine due to COVID-19, this isolation has left me wondering how to make the most of my time. Never in my life have I been part of anything that affects the entire world like this pandemic has. Outside all of our doors, the world has pushed pause. It hasn't stopped. It has paused-enough that we can sit and ponder what is important in our lives. Since the quarantine began, I have seen people taking necessary time to [electronically] gather. I have seen people supporting their local restaurants so that their businesses may continue. Teachers are staying connected to their students for the sake of knowledge and well-being. I have seen people proudly sharing their gifts without fear or judgement. Churches are creatively reaching people and proving that the church is not limited to the walls of a building. I have witnessed the need for God like never before. This is why Easter is so necessary right now . Christ had come to earth, to live among ...

About two months ago, before COVID-19 was a serious issue in the United States, I kept having a recurring dream. In my dream, I was driving on the highway when all of the sudden, my view changed. It was as if I had put on virtual reality glasses and I was looking at a roller coaster with all the turns and loops. In my dream, I was aware that I was driving quickly on the road, but I  could not see it because of the wild vision I was seeing in front of me. I had the same dream a second time, and that time the VR image was much more wild. I told myself that although I could not see the road I was driving on, as long as I continue moving forward, like before, I would be safe and get where I was heading. I had the dream one last time and the vision changed from the highway to the crazy roller coaster. More than ever, I remained focused on continuing straight as before and trusting that I would not swerve off course. During the fuel crisis in Haiti last year, we were isolated at ...

Before the new year, a  Bethel Music worship leader, Kalley Heiligenthal, and her husband lost their 2-year old daughter. Over the following 5 days, they asked for bold prayers that their daughter would be resurrected. Crazy, right? But as Christians, we read in the Bible that Jesus did bring people back to life after their death. (Jairus' daughter ( Luke 8 ), Lazarus ( John 11 ), Jesus Christ et al). Each night, she and her husband, along with Bethel and many more worshiped hard . I saw videos of people believing and worshiping like never before. In the end, their daughter was not resurrected but it is what followed that has been on my mind. The Heiligenthals had to face the reality that their daughter was gone and they continue to worship and praise hard . Do you know why? Because God hurts along with us. God feels our pain. And God brings us through these hard times.  So, let me tell you, our experiences in Haiti were hard. I was prepared to have to practically build ...

Have you ever been in a moment of transition and do not know where the road is leading you? This is where we are. I have to admit that historically I have hated being in transition, but this time, it's okay. Even if we do not see evidence of God working, we would know that he is. But we see him working in amazing ways and we feel him working. That is a lot like growing pains. There have been a lot of talks, a lot of tears and most of all, a lot of time with God. It's not easy having God work on you, but you know that because he is good, the end result will be better than we could imagine. He is providing for us in all the ways we need so I'm going to keep trusting that at the end of this chapter, we are going to have such a story to share!   Currently, we remain employees of TeachBeyond, but we are on a leave of absence and continue raising support until God makes his plan clear to us. The stresses that we faced in Cap-Haitien were extremely hard on our family and we a...

We have to admit that it has been a hard few months. If you haven't heard by now, we are back in Indiana because, frankly, everything we have gone through has been difficult on our family. We are back after only four months; now that is a hard pill to swallow. However, since telling people we were returning for a short time, everyone has been amazing to our family and for that, we have so much to be thankful for.  We are thankful for our family who hears the worst part of our stories, they worry tirelessly for us and never cease in their prayers. They answer the phone when we call them swollen and broken out in rashes, connected to IVs and crying. They have had to let us go, serve a mission God has called us to and still support us even though it is absolutely difficult for them. Thank you. We are thankful for those of you supporting us in various essential ways. Just like our family, you worry about us and believe in the work God is doing. Your belief an...

     When we were deciding to be missionaries in Haiti, we understood that life would be more difficult. We wouldn't have the luxuries, conveniences and comforts of our life in the United States. However, our family has always been adaptable and we knew that we could adjust to the everyday inconveniences of Haiti.       Most of these "inconveniences" are still luxuries in Haiti. To have a house with electricity and running water alone is to have privilege and our family is adjusting to these things just fine. However, what is difficult is when everything just stops. There has been very little to no fuel coming into Haiti for about 5 weeks now which puts a hold on practically everything: businesses, hospitals, schools and roads. We did not have school for three weeks and I hardly left our house. I began to wonder what I was doing in Haiti if I couldn't go to school, but how can I understand this culture if I don't truly live it? I could adapt to ...

Friends, the month we have been back to Haiti has been a hard one. We began school and things were cruising. Abigail and Keenen were doing well and making friends while Shawn and I fell into our positions and we were busy! Then Abigail got sick with a high fever (105) and Keenen and I got a high fever and a very sore throat. Then Shawn got Chikungunya (another mosquito-borne virus very similar to Dengue but not as severe as last time) and 6 of our teachers at the school got sick, including the director of the school AND her family. The fuel crisis continues throughout all of this and fewer people are able to make it into town and into school because of the lack of fuel or because of road blocks created by people just fed up with the government. You see, a lack of fuel means no power for your house if you have power, no power for any transportation and this all results in an increase of food prices. Also, because Haiti is in such debt, they are expected to raise diesel next month whic...

I knew once we began school, life would be busy and we would get into a routine and life would feel "normal." We have been in Haiti for one month and there is still so much I need to learn. Kreyol: Next week I will officially begin my Kreyol lessons so I can speak with teachers, staff, people at the market, neighbors et al. Not only do I want to communicate with people, but I want to show Haitians that I am making an effort to assimilate to their culture and not impose mine. Shawn has a good understanding of French (and a lot of courage) which helps him. Abigail is learning French along with her classmates and Keenen has been working on counting in Kreyol. Driving: I have only driven as far as the school which is about a mile and half. I should venture into town, but my fear of causing a lot of car accidents stops me.  People: One month is not long enough to understand a culture. I am still learning my role as a missionary in a country with a deep-rooted history. On t...

The beginning of our time in Haiti began very well! We made great progress getting our house ready for the year, increasing our Kreyol and meeting many Haitians and Missionaries in the area. It was great seeing the impact that God has had through missionaries over the years. The Good News is spreading in Cap-Haitien. While you can hear the Voodoo drums at night, you also hear Christian songs and worship played through loudspeakers during the day.   We got the sink and running water! Our friends built this while we were sick to protect our water heater.     However, the third week we both fell ill. We initially thought it was an allergic skin reaction, but it turned out to be a serious tropical disease. God provided so many people that supported us over the next two weeks, for which we are eternally grateful. Missionaries from many different organizations rallied behind us to help us make it through. We were treated diligently at Bethesda (the ...

For the first time in my life, I am a minority. It’s a weird feeling that, no matter what I do, I cannot “blend in.” I can learn Kreyol, learn to cook Haitian food or walk like the Haitians (ok, I might not ever be able to carry huge amounts of weight on my head), but I will never be able to hide the fact that I am white.   Furthermore, I am a minority, but I still have white privilege.  What I am having a hard time with is, being a foreign minority figure with privilege, it takes time to build relationships. I am learning how my neighbors “do life.” In America, we have ‘Game Night’ and ‘Movie Night’ and outdoor yard games galore. However, when you are in a country that doesn’t dwell on material possessions, the best thing to share is each other’s company. During this time, I must accept that this is a slow journey and that is why we would like to be here for the long haul.  On the other hand, kids are able to just jump in and start relationships instantly. I ...