I Shall Not Be Moved
Before the new year, a Bethel Music worship leader, Kalley Heiligenthal, and her husband lost their 2-year old daughter. Over the following 5 days, they asked for bold prayers that their daughter would be resurrected. Crazy, right? But as Christians, we read in the Bible that Jesus did bring people back to life after their death. (Jairus' daughter (Luke 8), Lazarus (John 11), Jesus Christ et al). Each night, she and her husband, along with Bethel and many more worshiped hard. I saw videos of people believing and worshiping like never before. In the end, their daughter was not resurrected but it is what followed that has been on my mind. The Heiligenthals had to face the reality that their daughter was gone and they continue to worship and praise hard. Do you know why? Because God hurts along with us. God feels our pain. And God brings us through these hard times.
So, let me tell you, our experiences in Haiti were hard. I was prepared to have to practically build our house from the bottom up. I was ready to face the political problems in Haiti. I knew that the lack of fuel would become a potential reason we would have to evacuate. However, what we went through, I was not prepared for. Having to decide whether your husband is sick enough to leave the country and worrying that he will become too sick to leave is hard. Having the option to leave when most of your neighbors and colleagues suffer and do not have that same option is hard. Having to leave the mission field after only four months feels like abandonment. Most of all, the emotional toll it took on myself and our family just became too much.
We are taking time to repair. We are taking time to be present while here instead of there or there. However, we are not going to spend our time wallowing in pity/sadness/failure. We are going to keep stepping forward. God has brought us through that hard part and we are learning and growing. We learn and grow so that we are living in God's will and not our own. We learn and grow so that we are ready for the next battle. We learn and grow so that we may become more like Christ.
So, let me tell you, our experiences in Haiti were hard. I was prepared to have to practically build our house from the bottom up. I was ready to face the political problems in Haiti. I knew that the lack of fuel would become a potential reason we would have to evacuate. However, what we went through, I was not prepared for. Having to decide whether your husband is sick enough to leave the country and worrying that he will become too sick to leave is hard. Having the option to leave when most of your neighbors and colleagues suffer and do not have that same option is hard. Having to leave the mission field after only four months feels like abandonment. Most of all, the emotional toll it took on myself and our family just became too much.
We are taking time to repair. We are taking time to be present while here instead of there or there. However, we are not going to spend our time wallowing in pity/sadness/failure. We are going to keep stepping forward. God has brought us through that hard part and we are learning and growing. We learn and grow so that we are living in God's will and not our own. We learn and grow so that we are ready for the next battle. We learn and grow so that we may become more like Christ.
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